J1. SOME JOKES

For a change here are some jokes.

1. TEACHER: Utsav, go to the map and find North America.
UTSAV: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: UTSAV.
2. TEACHER: Neha, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
NEHA: You told me to do it without using tables.
3. TEACHER: Radhika, how do you spell "crocodile?"
RADHIKA: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L"
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
RADHIKA: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
4. TEACHER: KARAN, what is the chemical formula for water?
KARAN: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
KARAN: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
5. TEACHER: PALLAVI, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have twenty years ago.
PALLAVI: Me!
6. TEACHER: UTSAV, why do you always get so dirty?
UTSAV: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
7. TEACHER: NEHA, give me a sentence starting with "I."
NEHA: I is...
TEACHER: No, NEHA..... Always say, "I am."
NEHA All right... "I am... the ninth letter of the alphabet."
8. TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, RADHIKA, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
RADHIKA: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
9. TEACHER: Now, KARAN, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
KARAN: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
10. TEACHER: RADHIKA, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your sister's. Did you copy it?
RADHIKA: No, teacher, it's the same dog.
11. TEACHER: PALLAVI, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
PALLAVI: A teacher.
12. Teacher: Neha, I often forget my things somewhere, what is the easiest way to get them?
Neha: Madam try to go ‘for’ and get them.
13. Teacher: Utsav, I spilled varnish on the floor, will you please help.
Utsav: Sure madam, let us just remove ‘r’ and make it ‘vanish’
14. Teacher: Radhika, what is the easiest way to reduce ‘9’ to ‘6’?
Radhika: Madam did you try reversing the paper on which ‘9’ is written!
15. Karan suddenly got up from his seat and put a question to the Teacher – can you please tell which is the longest word in the English dictionary? The teacher was taken aback and was struggling to give an answer.
Pallavi came to her rescue and said teacher it is ‘SMILES’ because the distance between the first letter and the last letter is a ‘mile’.