DD5. DEFT DEFINITIONS

CIGARETTE A paper tube filled with grass, with fire at one end a fool at the other end.
CIRCUMSTANCES Chain of events which no matter how unfortunate that clever people do not extract some advantage from and none, no matter how fortunate, that the unwise cannot turn to their disadvantage.
CIVILISATION Condition of present customs.
A series of victories over nature.
CLERK That white-collar worker who is tired even before he starts the days work.
CLEVERNESS Ignorance of things which it is not worthwhile to know.
COINCIDENCE Result of that inexorable law of averages which prevents any series of events being 100 per cent trouble free.
COMMUNIST A person who has given up all hopes of becoming a capitalist.
COMMUNALISM It is rooted in economics, fostered by politics, shaped by psychology and buttressed by religion.
COMPLACENCY Straightest road to frustration.
COMPLIMENT Lie in court clothes.
A little touch of love surrounded by great imagination.
COMPUTER Brainless chip.
COMPROMISE A temporary expedient often wise in party politics.
COMPULSION Starting point for corruption.
CONCEIT An ' I ' disease that doctor's can't cure.
CONFERENCE Meeting of those individuals who, knowing that they cannot do a thing independently, meet and decide that nothing can be done collectively either.
CONDUCT Sermon of life.
CONFIDENCE A plant of slow growth especially in an aged bosom.
CONSCIENCE The still, small voice that makes you feel still smaller.
Is something that feels terrible when all others feel well.
Fault's alarm.
The inner voice which prevents some from enjoying the fruits of their sin.
CONSERVATIVE A statesman who is enamoured of existing evils, as distinguished from the liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
CONSISTENCY The first refuge of the unimaginative.
CONSULT To seek another's approval of a course already decided upon.
CONTEMPT Murder committed by the intellect.
CONTENTMENT A thing that is acquired by tuning your yearning and earning capacities to the same wavelength.
Wanting what you get as opposed to getting what you want.
CONTRACT A piece of waste-paper unless you can trust the other party.
CONVERSATION A fair for the display of the minor mental condi-tions, each exhibitor being too intent upon the arrangement of his own words to observe those of his neighbours. Is the daughter of reasoning, mother of knowl-edge, the health of the soul, the commerce of heart, the bond of friendship, the nourishment of content and the occupation of men of wit.
CO-OPERATION Doing with a smile what we have to do anyway.
CORPORATION /COMMITTEE An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
COSMETICS A woman's way of keeping a man from reading in between the lines.
COURTESY An investment which pays regular dividends in friendship.
The quality that keeps a woman smiling when a departing guest stands at the open screen and lets the flies in.
COW A machine that makes grass fit for human consumption.
COWARD One who in perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
COVETOUSNESS The deadliest poison.