DD19. DEFT DEFINITIONS

MACHINE An aid that may do the work of fifty ordinary workers but fails to do the work of even one extraordinary man.
MAGISTRATE An official who is often required to decide the responsibilities for accidents between vehicles on the road, each, according to its driver, on its proper side, duly signaled and sounded and at the time, stationary.
MAGIC The hand is quicker than the eye is.
MAJORITY A large number of people who have gotten tired of thinking for themselves and have decided to accept somebody else's opinion.
MAN a) A social animal who can be divided into two broad categories. Those who cannot do what they are told and those who can do nothing else.
b) Human race is said to be divided into two sexes of which the man is said to belong to the stronger sex, but in the opinion of this lexicographer " The weaker sex is stronger than the stronger sex because of the weakness of the stronger sex for the weaker sex."
MANNERS a) The final and perfect flower of noble character.
b) They are like the cipher in arithmetic, they may not be of much value in themselves, but they are capable of adding a great deal to the value of everything else.
MARRIAGE a) A romantic novel in which the hero dies in the first chapter.
b) It is like the bath-by the time you get used to it, it is not so hot.
c) A barbaric formula designed originally to perpetuate the servitude of women and developed by modern courts to achieve the enslavement of men.
MARRIED-MAN Those who give-in when right.
MATRIMONY The sea for which no compass has yet been invented.
MATURITY Expertise developed to admit and say " I was wrong " and when right, ability to resist saying Ï told you so".
MEDDLING Principal occupation of women.
MEDITATION Wet nurse of thought.
MEMORY Something which recoils at you when you scold your child for an offense he commits, which you yourself did at his age.
METEOROLOGIST One who looks at the sky and tells us whether.
MIND a) What is it ? No matter. What is matter ? Never mind.
b) A part of human body which, like the parachute, works best when open. However, like the richest jewels that are ,sooner or later, found to wear out their settings, a great many of these so called open minds should be closed for repairs at the proper time lest they consume the body to which they are attached.
MIRACLE s) An event which defies natural laws and the most incredible thing about these miracles is that they do happen.
b) An event described by those to whom it was told by men who didn't see it.
MIRAGE Look directly at what you seek and see it disappear.
MISCHIEF Something in respect of which it is difficult to decide as to whether we suffer from it most from our enemies with the worst intentions or from friends with the best of intentions.
MISNOMER The right name for the wrong word.
MISERY a)It loves company but cannot bear competition.
b) Shadow of happiness.
MISTAKE a) A new lesson for success.
b) One that you don't make, if you learn from every one that you do make.